another small romances list
every day can be valentine's day
One of my favourite questions to ask people I’ve just met, for instance at a party or a wedding or whatever, is how they met their partner. It’s the kind of question I used to deploy when my job was to interview famous people who didn’t want to be interviewed. It sits in the same realm as “How is your dog?” or “I like your tattoo, when did you get that?” - questions that many would dismiss as small talk but concern things that people often really care about. For me, at least, they are genuine: I really would like to know about your dog, and I do want to know why you got that tattoo. And, most of all, I want to know how you met your partner.
These little love stories are often well-told because they have become well-worn over the years. The beats are familiar to those telling them, and they are often happy stories: two people met and their lives changed. Chances are, they were different people when they did - younger, obviously, even if it’s only by a few weeks, but also on a different plane of life. Grieving or heartbroken or drunken or working too much. Then, bam, they bump into someone at a party or on a plane or in the supermarket and everything changes.
It’s a good question because it also works if the person doesn’t have a partner. You could ask them how they met the mutual friend who introduced you, for instance. Perhaps there was a playground incident or a nightclub toilet connection or some trauma bonding working for a particularly unpleasant media establishment in 2011. These are little love stories too.
I first wrote the small romances list a couple of years ago. Then I did one last year. And well, I wanted to do another one this year. Valentine’s Day is trash but small romances are forever, and exist equally among lovers, strangers and friends. Do let me know yours in the comments.
sharing the last biscuit
the clear-eyed spirit of a 3am pep talk from a stranger in the ladies’ loo of a nightclub. You are too good for him