Look, I’ll confess: I’m writing this a month ago. It’s early December and I’m riding waves of overwhelm. These are the last few weeks before the baby goes into childcare and I’m putting undue pressure on myself to “make the most of them”, but I’m also swimming in deadlines and desperate to carve out space away from work and I always find the lack of daylight at this time of year difficult and my bulbs aren’t in the ground yet and, well. It’s a lot. All of which meant M took a day off to take the baby and I’ve spent the entire thing pouring myself into savour, which has been delicious in itself.
Perhaps it’s because of this that I’m thinking about gentle resolutions. My body is tired: how can I be softer with it next year? My brain feels frayed at the edges, how can I knit those back together? What would make me feel good that I can keep doing? What makes me feel bad that I can do less of? Am I showing up enough, and for whom?
For years, nearly a decade of them in fact, I’ve thought about going freelance. Several things have stopped me before but now I’ve finally realised it’s the right time. I don’t want to work in an office anymore. I don’t want to work for anyone but myself. That may change, but for now I’m arriving at a new year with decisions to make about how I work for me, for the first time. When I used to work a 9-5 I’d envisage freelance me as the kind of person who would give up at 2pm and go to a gallery, or a swimming pool, or lie down with a book all afternoon. Will this be me? I suspect not, but you never know.
One thing that will change is how much of this newsletter I’ll be sending out for free. From this week, only one Wednesday savour letter a month will be available for free subscribers to read. Savourites - these Friday letters - and the rest of the savour letters will be for paying subscribers only, along with the newsletter’s archive. I’ve extended my December discount until the end of January if you’d like to upgrade. If things are a bit tight right now drop me a line, I’m sure we can work something out.
So then, gentle resolutions. A few things to consider, rather than hold fast and punitively. I’d love to know what yours are.