We’ve had a false spring, and even though I knew it was an illusion the existence of it has lingered anyway. Oh, the sheer delight of sunshine drifting through the house! I know the patterns that daylight makes on my walls, I know how they shift and move with the seasons. Still, when they return it’s like bumping into an old friend on the street - it’s you! It’s been so long!
It’s rarely good for an exclamation mark to be deployed so often in a paragraph but perhaps this is just how much I needed the sunshine. I needed the sunshine, and I needed a shift. January was, in hindsight, ludicrous. February’s nearly over but it has been marginally better. I am sleeping in and trying not to feel bad about it. I have been for a bike ride and for a swim, and I will go again. I hung the Christmas paperchains up in the kitchen for a birthday lunch. I am journalling, somewhat resentfully, on the instruction of my therapist. The grass seed I sowed weeks ago suddenly erupted in the space of hours, and now there are fuzzy little tufts all over the trampled expanse of dirt that is supposedly our lawn. Like all of us, I am trying to navigate a way through.
Other good things this week: